I am such a disappointment.

And i don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I am lost.

"if u're crying i hope its for me. but i dun think u'd cry for anyone else other than him...
gd nite bah. i love u"

It's for myself. I am lost and i don't know why am i doing this and what gone into my mind and and and........

I don't know how to address him next time. I have no guts to face him. Not a little bit more left... I never call out his name before. I only used "oie", "dar", "dear", "lao gong"

For once, i thought i was loved and i will have it almost for forever. Happy days past, left so much in love. its fast, come by as it gone pass. It's gone just like that. Without much sadness, remorse, expressions and feeling from the other paty, i was hurt deeply. It then come along another. I felt loved again. But i don't know why, i told the other that i was blunt, i don't know how to handle.
"and u never did let go of the past before mah, cuz u cannot, i oso noe."
The other knows and understand. I am still a disappointment to him and to myself. As i consult, i got this answer,
"you heart got one knot
you must open yourself
or not you will be miserable"
I am sad.

teArs still rolling down. I dont know.






tAke cAre..... muack.