I asked, "Did you ever love me before?".
You anwsered, "Oh... McDonalds have this new McMuffin, have you tried?"
I asked again, "Did you even like me before?".
You answered, "Why i ask you question, you don't answer me?"
I said, "It's ok. Nevermind, I know the answer to my question."

Why even bother to stead with me, if you didn;t even had a slightest love for me at all? I don't understand. But now i know. I was just a substitude, a replacement for that emptiness at that moment of time.

Those "I love you, Dear.", "I miss you , Dear.". All of that? Why did you bother to say that? At first, I thought those are for real. But slowly, i think you said those for the sake of saying, then i know, i am just made used of. My everything, had been given to you, and ruin by you.

When you have projects, you will pur like a kitten to me and ask me to do for you, after that, i can hear nothing from you for the next 3 days. You can simply sms someone else, "Dear, i miss you." secretly without me knowing, but being caught red handed and not exposing you. The worst thing i think a stead can to the other party, is to flirt with another person on the phone in front of the current partner, and still ask, "Are you jealous?", and say to the one on the phone, "someone is looking at me with weird eyes, nevermind, it's ok... Have you eaten? oh... ..." and continus talking. If you flirt behind my back i still can lose one eye, do something with someone behind my back, i don't care, i can't see anything. But, right in front of me? What's more, in front of my 2 other friends when we were playing mahjong. Everyone except you were stunned.

This song describe it all... Through with love.

I gave my heart to you
I gave up my friends like you said I should do
Put aside my smile for you
Threw out my dreams if you said you didn't approve
I gave my mind
Compromised my life, just to see I'd find
You were trying to hold me back
Slowly you throwing me off of my track
Disappointed again

Oh, there you go comparing me
To every little model on the TV screen
Oh, there you go complaining to me
Cause I want to spend time with my family
My esteem has gone down
You never want to take me out
Make me feel dumb and alone
I don't know where to go
I'm through with it

I shared all my secrets with you
Even when it hurt telling the truth
I paralyzed my growth for you
I gave you control
Felt so helpless without you
Couldn't be a friend
To anyone happy
Cause with you I see
Misery loves company
No, no, no, if this is love
Cause if it's love
I don't want it anymore
I'm through with it

Why do I feel so empty
I'm crying out for some stability
Destroy my many insecurities
I'm breaking down, somebody pray for me
Need a love like no other, not an ordinary love
Restore my joy, wisdom and courage
Lord, I need Your love

I'm through with it love
I'm through with it, through with it love
I'm through with it, through with it love
I'm through with it, through with it love
I'm finally giving it up
I've given so much in the past
For a love I never had
I'm through with it
I'm, I'm through with it love
I'm through with it, through with it love
I'm finally giving it up

Take care all.. love ya all, muackz.

How stupid was that~? yesterday told ivy we try try la, we go in see need to pay or not, who knows, thanks leh... Thot can enter PLAY for FREE after the show, that we did for free at PLAY. Then yesterday, the boucer don't even know bout this! Hey... so we really did free show~? omg... how can like that....~? wellness say need to show her face, then can go in free... dorts... then we do the show for f*ck... then like that should just let her do solo opening and closing. we jus guest list, go in sit sit, clap clap, cheer can liao loh... roAr~! pek chek~!

haiz... its okai... i no that cheapo. nvm... later close down i tell u.. muahahah... k lah... don angry bout this le...

yesterday also, before going tanjong pagar area, went shopping with mommy... she say buy gucci wor... hahaah.. i also will have.. so good loh...

then today she ask me out, then bought le.. hahaha.... oh well, handphone strip.

hahaha... webcam come so handy when u don have a camera phone... but not when u are outside.. hahahaa....

\


hahha.. okai okai.. take care all.. muackz... love ya... take care.

15th march 2008, had a show at PLAY... did the usual song, wellness and me did, 881, "ye hua bu yao cai". ivy (kenny) did ,zhen ni, "re qing de sha mo". and closing, we did a very WHYNOT song, "I just Wanna be Happy." omg... the crowd was so high, but there were some young faces that donno all bout the whynot thingy, ya, so, haha... but overall was great.

took some pic but all not with me... haha. when have then upload..

that day so many people got drunk. and ya... did something so argh... haiz... donno lah.. hope things work out right ba.


argh~! had running nose today......... so sick.. hope get mc tmr.. muahahha...

need to stuck tissue in the nose loh... dorts..
but when comes to eating mango... hahahahaha... oh ya... had a whole mango to myself... muahahaha... so sweet... but after that.. nose runs like a tap... dorts,,,


wah.... its so nice loh the mango...

OKAI LAH... TIME TO SLP LE... later really need to take MC le...

muackz... take care... love ya. =)

Thursday, 13th of March. Was not raining in the morning. had lots of things to do in camp. it's good to have things to do, time goes by faster. Weather forcast said that after 12pm, it will rain, and ya true enough, it rains. how like that... never thought that weather forcast can be trusted. oh well...



5pm, when was about to change to civilian to book out, i had light make-up there, coz i have show at Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel. This time not in drag, i am male dancer. heehee... first time i think. The first cast of drag queen become dancer. haha... oh well, never try, you'll never know.



Was raining la... how... later make-up smerge how? people keep on looking how? haha... i asked my ma'am to drive me out to take cab. heehee...



okai.. make a true and met kenny and went to the hotel for show.. 6.30pm is the first song, and losts of item later, its our item again... omg.. waited for like 3++ hours leh... so tired.... stage is not big.. but kenny went to mix the song, so long... not ending one leh.. ahaha.. go his blog see la.. tired... here are some pics taken that day





hahaha... white angel...

okai. muackz.. love ya. take care

today... went to jurong and tuas for diesel receive... omg. it should be fast and quick, but both places cork up~! dorts...

actually can go back early one.. end up very late then go back...

met shun shun at 7pm and went to suntec city. wanted to eat tony romas, but we were not that hungry, so we decided to eat pizza instead. later we walked to bugis and ya.. went home.









thats all.. take care. love ya... muackz...

It's already 11th march. a bit lost, donno what to do.

went for rehearsal just now at maxwell there. then kenny, larry and i went to mcdonals went to lucky chinatown to mix the songs we need fr the show on thursday at waterfront hotel. kenny and i will only be male dancer, only larry drag. halfway while mixing the song, received an sms. "can i borrow ur green jacket", what he asked for, i will always find my best way to give him what he wants. after some sms, he asked, "do u miss me", i am like, why u ask such retard question, i always told you i miss u always. hmmm...

okai... don say him le... oh ya.. i bought web cam. haha.. so exciting. i bought it onw week ago.. still exploring the cam.. got a few pics from it.

then blogger don wanna let me upload. dorts.. okai, next time loh..

take care.. huggs.. love ya. muackx...

Finally... after so long.. and i hope this will really solve the misunderstanding, if any, between me and him.

It has been sometime i talked to him. It's always a glance and that's it. i felt so uncomfortable and miserable. everyone knows and thought that you and i have some conflict somehow and somewhere, but i hope we put all these behind. Maybe i really said something that dont sounds nice, sorry...

Remembering, 1 and a half year ago. i dated you. it goes until you ask me not to wait. i was deverstated. Oct 22, 2006 u ask me out again, the day after we stopped dating, and we watched "Death Note" with many other people. i am so lost. dont know what to do also. I was happy that you ask me out, i showed my besties in school. we all thought that there may be chance but got to know that on that outing itself, there is another one wanting to date you also, i backed out and chose to divert my attention to others.

We had conflicts on and off. i dont realy know why. what ever the case, sorry okai~? hope we can still be like the same as we first met. =)

it's almost half a year in NS, it's really fast, a bit lost in myself, what am i going to do when ORD. 5 days work week pass very fast. hope there are "clues" to what i want. =)

okai.... that's all today. Take cAre okAI~? loves.. muackz....

ROAR~ argh~!!!! I WAS BEING CALLED BACK TO CAMP TO RESTART THE STUPID DIESEL POINT AT 7.30pm... I WAS THERE AT 7.55pm. DREW THE KEYS AND RUSHED THERE... dorts...

So pissed... he "neh si" wanna draw diesel... he say need it for donno what. and is command from the top and he was instructed to draw 200L of diesel~! 200 only leh... OMG loh.. haiz... what to do, who ask me to be the In-charge.... left at 8.30pm, same thing, took a cab. lazy to take bus.

hmmm... donno what to blog a bout le... so sian de loh...

loves.. mauckz... take care

Hey~~~ so long nv blog liao.. and everyone keep pestering me on the phone, why nv update us with ur blog... OIE~ very tired one leh... u all school holiday, finish work go home, then relax relax, see see my blog.. me leh... at camp do hrad work... go home PIANG~! slp le... where got time to blog.. okai.. now once and for all.. blog~! >.<

okai.. monday, 3 march. bought new webcam.. finally.. can use again le.. yeah... haha... use takashimaya voucher buy de loh.. also no need use money de. bought a mp3 player also... also no need money de.. muahaha... voucher voucher...

not too long ago, 1st march, help alex make up into Brittany. for the drag gueen competetion.. PLEASE VOTE, http://www.v-entertainment.net/ click on below, vote, then vote for MISS MALAYSIA~~~!!! okai? hahaha.. must k.

the dress is me and my ex, his current make for him de.. so sad loh that day making this dress... ahhaa.. okai. don say sad things le.

not too long ago again.. joey camp out in the day to perform.. omg~! that was nice, as wat the people who aw the perdformance.. togetter with shai and wellness.. haha.. at some nursing home... oh my, the old folks are so happy loh.. see their happy face, we all also happy.. do charity show okai~ haha...



okai.... some pic to show u all...






first one taken using shawn phone. second one also. third one obviously with my all time sister, alice de, forth one using xiaopei, my YY jie mei "lulu"'s phone. fifth one, baobei edgar phone and is on the bus.

next.. show u joey veron de pic... on 2nd day of chinese new year, at some jurng place de show and on MAn Fat Tong Nursing home de photo. ManFat Tong is on the 15th of feb... omg.. i didnt update my blog for so long`? o.O haha.. nvm.,..

THE QUEEN DIVAS

ManFatTong Nursing Home

haahah... okai... i got so much to type loh... nvm, will continue next post..

now this is to tell SHUN SHUN, don think to much k~? everyday must happy happy de... then must take care okai`? going ns liao right~? haha.. spend some time in army think what you wanna do next ba.. haha.. for now, everyday happy happy, can go out then go out. can play then go play, don think too much. SLEEPY THEN GO AND SLEEP~! haha... okai lah...

loves always... muack~ taka care all...