Friday... nv go to camp. took off.

i woke up from a bad dream crying.. i dreamt of baobei. i dreamt of him jump off the building. i dreamt of me searching for him with guilt.. in the dream i was suppose to jump off with him, but i let him go alone... i finally found him, he was with all the other dead people donno waiting for wat. he asked me why i nv accompany him, then he gave me his cigarette and asked me to smoke. i at first already had the feeling it was fake, it was a dream, but the mint air down my throat made me thot that it was real.

then i told baobei, "i purposely don wanna go, i am scared." he asked, "i know ah." with a smile. then i started crying.... i woke up, still continue to cry. and i sms baobei... he replied. was such a relieve to know he is still there... then found my sms very weird, then ask what happen to me, and i called him and cried even harder and told him my dream... he consoled me and ask me go back to slp...

hmmm... very scary okai... =(

then met baobei and went to orchard, met kiro and jonathan. and ya, we walk around... then we seperated, me and baobei went to "borders" to serach for book... then we see see look look, then go home le.

reach home play mahjong till now... hmm... no mood to play at all la... whole mind on that dream... haiz....

thats for now..

take care... miuackz...

Its so noisy these few days.. its so hard to find some place that is quiet and peaceful... maybe is me that is not feeling quiet well these few days ba... inner self is not very peaceful and hense feeling that the surounding is very noisy...

recently found that many people like me and making small matter big. it's like, it's suppose to be a small matter and may be just a passing comment. people can make a fuss out of it.

i myself also do. i make a fuss out of nothing myself and also make myself miserable by thinking how people mistreat me. omg leh me.. so i feel so uneasy and insecure. but i am lucky, i got some sutra... keep on recieting inside me and keep on playin the same thing on my laptop over and over again.. to keep myself, one self. it makes complicated things simple.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

i am thinking... is it my retribution again... is it not enough? one qi en still not enough ah? another luke not enough ah? you need another andy to do this kind of distruction inside. omg...

thot i can get over very easily... but no loh... its not so easy. luke got over le. qi en almost, but that day got some one push him back into my mind. !#$%^&(*&^# ... then andy is the recent one la... still pending to be extracted. did i blog about him leading people in wrong direction? nvm... blog again... it is like if you know u don like someone le, can u just tell that person, why wait until everything starts to get complicated then say? why must people force u to say, then u say?

actually its expected right from the start when u are so concern bout someone sms and stuff... i am always bluffing myself and ask other people to bluff me saying that, u still care for me. but in fact, u care for some other people more. just that i want u personally to tell me, lets end this. i told u right why am i so into, so attched to you le right...

sometimes wondering... i so cheap ah? haha.... am i?

retribution i think... always seeing a little fault or flaws or imperfection in people, out he or she goes of my life... i think thats why... i always try le.. try to accept, but... i don see that i am so perfect, but i jus don want imperfection.. haiz... retribution ah.... well.. wat i can do.. now must accept people imperfections... if u really like that person, his or her everything, try, if u can compromise loh. don complaint to much loh...

=D

love... take care all.

hmmm... i don wanna run la.... old woman want the storeman to run like those people far inside. MOnday, wednesday and friday leh... omg can.. no loh. i don wanna run loh. 7.30am must reach leh... no loh hor... i need to sleep de lah hor. I AM WORKING 8-5. not 7.30-5 can~ omg leh... i go at 7.30am also no pay increment. i go for wat~? stay healthy~? no leh... let me sleep i will be more healthy la hor.

omg.. so pek chek la these few days...

and now, its saturday. i am at jia jun's place. omg, he still slping. i am like so bored. dorts... haiz... think i should go mc donalds and have something. so sian.. dono what to do..

then also, now choosing blog skin. wanna change blogskin liao. this one so emo de. haha..

muackx... take care, love ya..

WHAT'S WRONG~!?!? o.O

I ALREADY FORGET ABOUT HIM. WHAT'S WITH-

"jojo, tell me about him lei."
"i like him, wanna know him more."
"why he say he is bad. "
"he ask me to ask you bout him."

NO LEH HOR~

if u wanna know him, go know him urself. why come to me? do i look that i know him a lot? please lah hor, if he is interested in you, he wont wait till now still tell u, he is bad, he is not good, he wanna stay single, he also wont ask you to ask people bout him de lah hor. USE UR BRAIN~! he will grab the person if he have interest the moment he sees him de loh. do u think when he is telling u, go and ask people about me, he is not flirting or maybe steady someone?

AND
why is it me? why is it always me~? do i look like i know u a lot? do i seems that i care? ya, after the attitude u gave me on the very Sunday, i don really care. why bother asking people to ask me about you?

=D

elloz... Saturday went Serangoon to K with Alice and Eugena... after that, alice and me went to bugis and shop shop.. we ate ajisan ramen. haha.. and we went to shop shop again.. omg can... we shop a lot of things la.

then later 11pm, reach my house.. alice say wanna learn make up.. then okai loh. i make up for her and myself too...




haha... see... nothing better to do.. haiz.... then got some many ppl ask me go PLAY. i was like.. don feel like going. then andy called, ask me going or not, i was like so tempted to go la... but well in the end, he nv ask me go directly, if he did, i think will go ba.

so later nv do anything... then do a lot of accounting... sian loh. ny monday need to finish.. haiz..

sunday also PS alot of ppl... think then all very mad at me ba.. sorry all.. need to work la. not on purpose de...

then today also nv do much, met edgar... then eat chicken rice. came home, sleep whole day... haiz... at night, wake up, met andy, ate chee chong fun. then came home.

okai la.. that's all.

muackx... take care, love ya..

Congrads... haha... joJo is back.

Didn't sleep for like how long already~ haha... it's so tiring... i'm gonna sleep.

yesterday went to camp... did nothing much.. ma'am nv really ask me do things. so was quite relaxing... then went home... reached home, andy called. he say he at "dhua". okai.. he went bukit batok i think... ya... then when reach home, he called again... say he reached home le.

then he do his things i do my things.... he ask me send songs... dorts.. think is his connection poblem ba.. haha.. send halfway, all error.. haha. then he say go sleep le.. dorts... haha... he headache la... nv call me also la him. haha... 1st night nv hear his voice be4 i slp. So.... i nv slp.... =D very "gher gian" hor. haha dorts...

then ya, went to mc at serangoon with Leo at 4am.. ate breakfast then wait for my 103 to go to camp... and suprisingly, i nv sleep much in camp today.

then went to find edgar for dinner... then weiwei called, ask to eat dinner~~~ eh~! ahah... i ate le.. edgar cooked de. >.< opps.. heeehee. then thot he will come to find us. but nv.. he say tired, so don wanna come. so me and edgar walk walk then went to hougang green... andy called... eyer... hahaha. call to look for weiwei, see he around or not loh. not look for me leh. haha... then told him, weiwei at home la.. where can he go to... dorts... like so "gan jiong" he go another "w" de place meh.. haahah..

then came home liao... ahhhhh~! home sweet home~... ohhh... weiwei making for me, mine own emoticon... hahaha... so fun

=) muuackzxxx.... take care, love ya....

Ha... went to camp. old lady not in camp. slack. do work. slack. watch movie, over her dead body on dragg's i pod.

took bus, andy called, then met for dinner. he ate porridge, i ate muah chee... very nice muah chee at hougang ave 8.

then went to hougang mall, met edgar, so 3 of us went to the foodcourt to have red bean ice, oh ya, andy don take red bean, ha..

then went to smoke, they smoke la... i nv. we went hougang plaza and andy ate wanton mee and we chared the popiah. then later edgar went home, me and andy went to sing, at k box hougang plaza.

sing finish, i walked andy home, then i walked home. ha, he stay near, good for him, not like me stay so far. ha.

then reached home, bathed, then now blog.. ya... that's all for today.

BY THE WAY EVERYONE~~!!! I AM NOT ATTACHED WITH ANDY. PLS MAKE IT CLEAR ALRIGHT... NO MORE MISUNDERSTANDING.... IF ANYONE WERE TO GIVE ME OR HIM ANY TROUBLE AGAIN, YOU WATCH IT.... YA? =D

muackx, take care.. love ya.

Monday jus passed... its tuesday.

nothing much today. went to TTSH for eye check up. then went back camp.

then work work work... then ya... went home. really leh.. nothing much today loh.

came home, andy called... yup.. then ya, he went for dinner at AMK, the crap noodles... omg.. feel like eating la...

then he went home gave me a call then ya.. he went to bed.. then i now nothing to do. ahhaha okai le..

muackx... take care... love ya.

Saturday... woke up then went out. to where ah? oh...! to suntec city and eat breakfast cum lunch with andywangzi. after that went home and went to sembawang to celebrate mothers' day.

almost whole SNG family was there and ya... hope grandma is fine. hmmm...

then after celebration, went to maxwell... then went to PLAY. met andy there then went in. was nice. but mood wasnt right. all these while... haha... its not right.

4am, ya, andy went to fetch his sister. and i sit at maxwell with larry till 5am, chat with the drink stall aunty. then shai came.. so we sit till 6am, then we took cab home. =)

nothing much.. sleep... then woke andy up today, but he woke up liao... he went to woke, and i continue to slp. then woke up, play mahjong with benji, weihao and who ah? nvm.. another guy. then the another guy left then my bro take over.

ya... today not feeling very well... fever i think... inside so uncomfortable. but ya... don wanna eat medicine.. so eeeee... haha..

suddenly i am lost. i am very tired. well.. it's not up to us to say who giving someone to who. is that, he holds the power to choose either of us...

yesterday told someone... "it's someone freedom to go anywhere with anyone and lie bout anything. he is not your anyone yet. including myself." so, don get too bothered by things someone say or do. he still cares for u, if not, those sms wont make him so aggitated. =)

same goes for me... what i can either do is wait and ya, wait... maybe it's time to let go. letting go may not be the wrong choice. haha.. i donno... think i should just go and know more people. and enjoy myself, rather then doing my inner soul harm.. ahahaha... jojo will be back. =D

muuackkxxx... take care.. love ya~~~~~

hey hey.. today got parade, yeah.. so i am home early... not even lunch can go home le. =D

just now thot andy was at home then ask him to fetch me from nee soon camp de. who knows... he at orchard with one of his friend. so ya... i came home myself.. wah lao.. take very long loh. took bus with boon sun then take bus from ang mo kio then came home... oh well.. think gotta slp awhile ba..


andy ah.. not i angry with u leh... u totally nv sleep at all leh~! and u are driving! i am so worried bout ur health and safety. haiz... take care okai.? =(

now... it's time for my rest.. haha...

muackx.. take care, love ya.

=D

i think i got hold of myself again le~! haha... but did say something wrong jus now~ omg.. miscalculated. haha...

jia you ba~ nothing much really today.. only help andy find car...

like that.. he rented a honda civic. dorts... okaii thats all..

muackx, take care.. love ya

wednesday... nv slp yesterday. how to slp u tell me.. haha.. person u like, at someone elses place. dorts... okai... morning, as usual, went to camp, continue to do work... time pass fast is good... from morning ah, was waiting for a call from morning till end of my work day.. wah... no call at all. have call, all the call from hq transport loh.. hmmm...

ya.. then after work, cant wait le, very ghang khor loh... so i call him. and ya, answered. told me at AMK, just do finish project. okai.. say later call me. =)

yup, later he called. and told me many things and ask me to rent car for him. haha.. i am like so relieved. ya... haha... but ya. heart still got a bit sour sour. ahha....

jia you ba~!! dorts... maybe update later ba.

muackx, take care.. love ya.

Tuesday... morning went to the old woman there to meet her then go to the gluocester camp.. then meeting and stuff then 12pm reach back seleter. wake wangzi up... ya.

then do work do work. then andy called, said going out. okai... then nothing much...

then on the way home, called him, ask him, where is him, then he say orchard with jerald, jasper and weicherng.

oh okai... then i go home. go there also sian, donno how to react also. argh~!! stomachache.

somewhat around donno what time also, andy say at weicherng house downstairs. oh okai... chat with me awhile then going up le. so yup.. he went up le, haha, he assured me that nothing will happened. haha.. donno wor. =)

then was like so uneasy and.. jus nice boon sun chat with me on msn... thank you boonsun... he told me so many things and told me that, "just be yourself, if you are so uncomfortable to do things u don like, dont do. live on..." yup... so ya... be myself loh..

so yup, when andy chat with me on msn i was like all out chat loh, also don like care beside de ppl think wat.. dorts... very inconsiderate of me la... but ya, don care le la...

oh ya... i donno is it andy talking to me or not la... i say stomache pain le, go toilet 3 times le, he ask me go eat medicine, haha... omg. he actually ask me to eat medicine... almost one month ago, he still know i don like to eat medicine, and now he forgot? haha... my mood was actually very good le, but then this phrase, "go eat medicine la" it jus like, shot me down. x.x

feeling for the day... and is for now and only, here see here shuah okai... maybe u see this msg, u may feel that i am selfish or wat. but is how i feel now la. here it goes.

all i want is someone really care, pamper me, treat me like i am the only one. yes, u told me so much of ur things that no body knows, i feel very one and only, yes, you told me, you wanna be single now, coz u hasnt been single from ur ex till recent. ya, u also said u don wanna choose between me and him, it will coz harm either to one of us. all are very acceptable. pamper me~~~ i very ghang khor~!! omg... feeling so uncomfable... hmm... but i will hang in there.. but if one day i cant hang there i may really collapse and nv stand up again. i am really that weak inside. haiz... why am i like that again.. i wans't like that 2 years ago... donno la... 2 years ago de me, i wont be here sitting down blogging le ba, will be like jumping up and down, pek chek till siao le ba. =)

donno la... jia you ba.

muackx.. take care. love ya.

omg... monday. once at camp give that old woman scold liao... so sad and angry loh. hmmm... wanna curse her de, but then she got kid. later anything happen, the kid very innocent loh... hmmm.. don curse for the time being. omg lah she, donno how to control her stress... then vamp all the anger around. if is joey veron in camp ah.. sure give her black face all the way de and give her attitude de. curse wat lei..? no job from tmr onwards? depression? hmm... together la.

today at camp was busy. from morning till evening continue to do... tmr morning still need to meet that old woman at her house there go donno wat camp at ayer rajar there... so sian loh... dorts... eeyer.. sit her car donno will suay or not... very SAI leh... all these things no need to do one loh.. wanna do also ask last time de ppl do ma... last time de SAI want me to KEOK... really leh.. pek chek.

haiz... saddening.


yesterday didn't sleep loh. was watching thailand show, "romance in siam", omg... its so touching loh.. its about 2 young boys de story. go watch.. its a 150mins de show. inside got one phrase i remember so clearly, "i think we don't be together. but it doesn't mean i don love you." it's like, sec sch aj student de love story loh. so sad loh...

this is the link, watch online. http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_cc00XMjI4NTUyMTI=.html

okai lah.... haiz... must set the mood right le. tmr must see the old witch~! bleahx.... hmmm.. was a sad day today.

muackx.. take care, love ya~~~

Friday... went to camp as usual... then ya, 1.30pm... got a call from donno wat camp at ayer rajar camp, say wat need to take all documents from our camp that concern POL to there leh.. omg.. ask my ma'am, then we go together... heng loh.. my ma'am go with me.. dorts leh.. then TU, TU, and TU, TU until 7pm, reach back hougang, omg almost 8pm le loh... hao bu hao yi si ah~? omg... wanna scold vulgarities le.. dorts..

Wednesday.... went to camp as usual.. time pass normally... haha. always hoping time to go faster when i am in camp. okai... so, 5.22pm should take bus de.. got one warrent officer, omg, die die dont wanna leave the camp leh.., not my ma'am loh, is from donno what Transport Hub donno wat de la.. SHE DON WANNA LEAVE, ASK TO CHECK THIS CHECK THAT, OMG, PECK CHEK~!!! I MISS MY BUS~!

haiz... my original plan was to go home, bathe, go fairprice buy carrot for then go andy house de... dorts. then 6.30 pm reach his house for dinner de.. then i change the plan... straight away go andy house le... >.<

reach there, aahaha.. omg.... he cooked~!!! he can cook~!!! =D am so happy.. the rice was ready, food was ready... omg... smell so nice~! then the first thing, he ask me to try the curry... WOW~! no spicy, i was like, curry can be not spicy.. haha.. ps.."andy don take spicy food".. so nice lohhh. then my FAVORITE~!! TOU FU~! steam i think, with veg and pork.. the pork also very nice... tou fu~!!! nice nice nice... yum yum..

then after that, we watch tv, haha.. i was laughing all the way la... coz got all the show so nice de. =)

then teach andy how to use blog and cbox all these, then 8.30pm we went out. yup.. decided to go PLAY. reached there, took chop, and was around 9.45pm. then went around sit sit, walk walk. then even walk to China Square and sit on the swing. ahaha... so much things to talk about there. then went back to PLAY. oh... THE FLAIR got show.. yup.. after awhile, the mood wasn't right for andy, then i told him, is not good to stay in PLAY either, why don't we go somewhere else. he said okai... then we went Boat Quay, was at the McDonalds, chat alot till almost 3.00am, we went back to andy's place...

Slp.... ZzZZzzzzz.. till Thursday, Labour Day, 1st May 2008, morning 11pm. andy said wanna cook porridge for me.. ahha.. then i said okai. and we went back to sleep. haha.. then woke up again, was 3pm. haha... opps... so we all got up and yup, bathe, and we went blk 401 to eat. after that, he went to work and i went to Funan IT mall to look for mommy and daddy, ahhaha.. bought quite a number of things... AND MOST IMPORTANTLY~ I GOT BACK MY LAPTOP.. muahahahaa... and yup... haha.. happy loh...

after that... took train with them, halfway edgar baobei called.. ahaha... so decided to meet him at SengKang. so yup... met him, then walk walk around sengkang loh... was so sian loh... coz we donno what to do ya, so yup.. haha.. walk round sengkang. then decided to find andy at his work place.. yup.. 10pm ba... i asked dear to go for a smoke, okai.. so, edgar and dear smoke.. i sit there and be passive smoker. haha..

then yup.. went home... edgar also went home. andy continue to work... hmm.... so poor thing, work till 2am leh.. hmm.. but nvm, if he enjoy can le. muahaha...

hao le~~~ happyyy... lappy is back..

muackx... take care, love ya~~