Its so noisy these few days.. its so hard to find some place that is quiet and peaceful... maybe is me that is not feeling quiet well these few days ba... inner self is not very peaceful and hense feeling that the surounding is very noisy...

recently found that many people like me and making small matter big. it's like, it's suppose to be a small matter and may be just a passing comment. people can make a fuss out of it.

i myself also do. i make a fuss out of nothing myself and also make myself miserable by thinking how people mistreat me. omg leh me.. so i feel so uneasy and insecure. but i am lucky, i got some sutra... keep on recieting inside me and keep on playin the same thing on my laptop over and over again.. to keep myself, one self. it makes complicated things simple.

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i am thinking... is it my retribution again... is it not enough? one qi en still not enough ah? another luke not enough ah? you need another andy to do this kind of distruction inside. omg...

thot i can get over very easily... but no loh... its not so easy. luke got over le. qi en almost, but that day got some one push him back into my mind. !#$%^&(*&^# ... then andy is the recent one la... still pending to be extracted. did i blog about him leading people in wrong direction? nvm... blog again... it is like if you know u don like someone le, can u just tell that person, why wait until everything starts to get complicated then say? why must people force u to say, then u say?

actually its expected right from the start when u are so concern bout someone sms and stuff... i am always bluffing myself and ask other people to bluff me saying that, u still care for me. but in fact, u care for some other people more. just that i want u personally to tell me, lets end this. i told u right why am i so into, so attched to you le right...

sometimes wondering... i so cheap ah? haha.... am i?

retribution i think... always seeing a little fault or flaws or imperfection in people, out he or she goes of my life... i think thats why... i always try le.. try to accept, but... i don see that i am so perfect, but i jus don want imperfection.. haiz... retribution ah.... well.. wat i can do.. now must accept people imperfections... if u really like that person, his or her everything, try, if u can compromise loh. don complaint to much loh...

=D

love... take care all.